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Dear Jim, I would really really really like you
to fix it for me to meet David Dickinson face to
face, so we can compare suntans. I have recently
returned from a six month stint at a nudist colony
in the sahara desert and it would put my mind at
rest to know if I am a deeper shade of conker than
the man himself.
nick clement, aged 29, from A tiny office in Soho
dear
jim, could you fix it for my i.t teacher to be conviniently
run over by a large truck or a bus? he is a twat and
deserves to die horribly from std's thanks
tommy winkle, aged 12, azerbijan
Dear
Jim, Please can you fix it for communism to rise again?
I used to really enjoy waking up and staring out of
my window at the beautiful acres of chimneys and steelworks.
Please help my dream of a return to the ways of old
come true! Failing this request could u fix it for
me to become a pornstar? Thanking you in advance,
Mikael (Old as the hills), Moscow
Dear
jim, please can you fix me up....with jonny knoxville.
i know he is married but if you please arrange the
untimely death of his significant other and organise
a meeting with me and jonny at a skate ramp in the
bronx it would be very much appreciated. please please
please fix it for me jim- (i'll send you some cuban
cigars!).
regards. jenny from the block.
aged 19. jenny@the block.com
DEAR JIM,AFTER SPOTTING A RATHER LOVELY ICE CREAM
VAN ON E-BAY YESTERDAY, IT AROUSED MY DORMANT AND
PREVIOUSLY UNSATISFIED DESIRE TO BE MR WHIPPY. MR
WHIPPY HAS LONG SINCE BEEN A PERSONAL HERO OF MINE
AND WOULD REALLY CHERISH BEING ABLE TO SERVE THE COMMUNITY
AS MY ROLE OF BEING MR WHIPPY, KEEPER OF THE PEACE,
GRAND MASTER WHIPPY AND SUPREME RULER OF ALL THINGS
MILKY. PLEASE CAN YOU ARRANGE FOR THIS TO BECOME A
REALITY AND I PROMISE YOU FREE ICE CREAMS FOR LIFE.
CHEERS SIGNED
A FUTURE MR WHIPPY.AGED 28, BONNIE SCOTLAND
Dear Jim
Please please could you fix it for me to go on a mass
killing spree for the day? I'd like to suggest my
workplace as a suitable venue, failing that, any ASDA
or Kwik Save would do. Preferably an AK47 would be
my weapon of choice, but I'll leave that up to you.
Jangle jangle, jewellery jewellery, and all that.
You rock...
Monkey Girl, Brighton, aged 28 ½
Dear Jim,
Please can you fix it for me to have my arse sewn
up, as it appears to have a hole in it
tommy b, aged 27, Sussex
dear jim'll, as a university student i am rarly sober
enough to not piss in my bed, that in its self is
not a problem however the fat whore of a cleaner continues
to come in to my room and display some of the poorest
sexual techniques i have ever experienced. could you
fix it for a slight penis enlargment in order to touch
the sides. thanks in advance,
ever loving ever caring
Andrew Birkett (606 dix halls marjons plymouth) aged,
20
Dear
Jim,
You may remember I wrote to you some time ago and
I am begging you one last time.... Please can you
fix it for me to meet Buck Rogers and his little
tin can friend Twiki (bidi...bidi...bidi...)...
If this is at all possible I would be ecstatically
happy!! If not then is there any chance I could
be given a tiger.... not a fully grown one as I
only have a small garden and do not really like
cats.... and I fear my 82 year old neighbour may
have a seizure... Please, please, please can you
fix this for me??. If you do fix it for the guy
to become a buckin bronco isthere any chance I can
hire him for August Bank Holiday weekend??
Thanx, Candy Hornbuckle aged 25 tyneside
Dear
Jim, can u fix it for me to come first in next years
marathon ?
thanks
Gerry, Aged 26 from Glasgow
Dear
Jim
Can
you fix it for me to be invisible for the day?
Acutally
either to be invisible for a day, or to be able
to pause time?
thanks
rachel
gunther, aged 21
Manchester
Dear
Jim
I
hope all is well. My wife, the two timing whore,
is seeing another guy, I was wondering if it would
be possible for you to fix it for her to be fixed?
Any
kind of sting operation would suffice, a hit man,
a jeremy beadle set up that catches her inflagrante
or an incidental car accident that paralyses her
from the waist down.
Obviously
though I will leave it to your discretion as to
how you fix this situation..
Oh
yeah, her name is Catherine Weber of 125 Royal St,
not to be confused with the Catherine Vebber who
lives next door at 123 Royal St. Neither one of
us would want a big lawsuit, now would we?
Can
you fix it ? I am sure you can.
Many
Thanks, Tom
Evans, Cardiff , aged 26
Dear Jim
Can
you fix it for me to be a chimney for the day?
Its
just they seem to have such a good life, with all
that smoke passing through them, and the grande
views of the city.
I
look forward to your reply
Your
sincerely, Ian
Farmsworth, Basingstoke, Aged 32
Dear Jim'll Fix it
Hi
Jim.
Can
you fix it for me to be a Bucking Bronko for the
day? preferably like the one that was in Rio's nightclub
in Swindon on the 24th September.
I
know that it is an unusual request, but I am sure
that you can appreciate that it would be very agreeable
experience.
I
know that there is a hen night on 24th November,
at said venue.
All
the best
Dave
Allen, Swindon, Aged, 29
|
Your letter was only the start of it, one letter and
now you're a part of it,
Now you've done it, Jim has fixed for it you, and
you and you. There
must be something that you always want to do, the
one thing that you always wanted to,
Now you've done it, Jim has
fixed it for you, and you and you and you
Jim has fixed it for you, and
you and you and you-ou-ou.
Your letter was only the start of it, one letter
and now you're a part of it,
Now you've done it, Jim has fixed for it you, and
you and you.
There must be something that
you always want to do, the one thing that you always
wanted to,
Now you've done it, Jim has
fixed it for you, and you and you and you
Jim has fixed it for you, and
you and you and you-ou-ou.
Your letter was only the start of it, one letter
and now you're a part of it,
Now you've done it, Jim has fixed for it you, and
you and you.
There must be something that
you always want to do, the one thing that you always
wanted to,
Now you've done it, Jim has
fixed it for you, and you and you and you
Jim has fixed it for you, and
you and you and you-ou-ou.
Your letter was only the start
of it, one letter and now you're a part of it,
Now you've done it, Jim has fixed for it you, and
you and you.
There must be something that
you always want to do, the one thing that you always
wanted to,
Now you've done it, Jim has
fixed it for you, and you and you and you
Jim has fixed it for you, and
you and you and you-ou-ou.
|
Remember
writing to Jim'll Fix it when you were young? Well so
did over 2 million others, in fact the staff of the show
received over 3,400 letters a day during the shows heydays.
Anyway, we were wondering what you'd ask for now you are
older. We need your entries,